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You know you're Viet when...

Song of the Day: Rhianna - Umbrella

It's good to laugh at yourself once and a while. So when I found this list, I couldn't help but laugh for quite a while. It probably doesn't really make sense unless you've lived as a Vietnamese kid growing up with some funny funny Vietnamese parents. Though, so of these statements are far from accurate, some are spot on. Anyways, enjoy...

1. You eat everything with fish sauce and/or soy sauce

2. You sit and eat with one foot on the chair

3. You plastic wrap your remote control

4. You or someone you know is doing something illegal

5. Your parents don't send you to your room; they beat the crap out of you

6. You love any games involving cards, especially Tien Len and Poker

7. You’re addicted to gambling

8. You don't mind spending dollars on a bottle of water

9. You and your friends fight till death for the bill when u guys go eat

10. You wear all brand name clothes

11. You have no patience

12. You love Chinese/Korean movies, especially the long ones with a billion episodes

13. You’ve never seen your parents kiss, hold hands, or say "I love you" to each other and if they do anything like that, you'd be fucking grossed out

14. You either went across the street from your high school to gamble or went to the billiards nearby to play pool or jits

15. Your parents are strict as hell

16. You had to kneel on jackfruit peels, if you still have to do this, I feel very sorry for you, call children's aid!!

17. You drive a Toyota, Acura or Honda

18. Your parents still call you by your Viet nick name (usually starts with cu or be)

19. You go to raves

20. Your parents teach you to say hi to people but they never fucking say "hi" to you

21. When you step out of the house for anything, your parents think you're going to join a

22. Gang

23. You learn so fast, you scare the shit out of your teachers, but you hate going to school

24. Your last name is Nguyen (ok fine, not all of you, but you're probably related to a "Nguyen" though)

25. Your parents only want you to be a doctor, a dentist or a fucking lawyer what the fuck happened to all other professions?

26. You or someone you know does nails or works in a salon

27. You have a karaoke system at home but you go to karaoke bars anyway

28. Your religion is most likely Buddhism or Christianity

29. Your political views include Guvernment, Republik, Distrikt and you vote @ Pulse

30. You have an anger problem

31. You need a haircut

32. You probably talk shit behind people's backs

33. When your family has a get together party, they talk and laugh so frickin loud, like a fish market; oh and of course they do karaoke

34. You used to get those ridiculous bowl or mushroom haircuts

35. No matter where you go, you look at other Asian people wondering if they're Viet

36. Your hair used to be split w/ yellow highlights and now it's spiked! (Guys)

37. You love war movies (Troy, Gladiator …etc) because they remind you of

38. kiem hiep! (Chinese movies with a billion episodes)

39. You’ve had to translate for your parents at least several times and it annoyed the hell out of you

40. You have so many relatives, some of which you never knew existed, and you haven't got a clue how you're related to them, basically, you have one fucked up family tree

41. You have a staring problem

42. You or someone u know works at a karaoke bar

43. You grow only your pinky finger nail, who knows why the hell you do that (guys)

44. Someone in your family has an engineering degree

45. You’re an alcoholic

46. You always find excuses to party; in fact, you party all the time for no apparent reason

47. You’ve probably seen a Paris by Night, Van Son or Asia

48. You stay healthy by taking herbs and vitamin E

49. You love wearing the hard core Viet flip flops, indoor and outdoor

50. You’ve witnessed a slaughtering of a pig and/or chicken

51. You do the Viet squat (sitting down like you're )

52. You love soccer, and you wonder why Vietnam never makes it to the world Cup

53. You have cravings for instant noodles sometimes and you don't fucking know why

54. Your uncle that just came over from Vietnam gets booked by the cops for capturing those poor geese at the parks

55. You eat those duck eggs for snack(the ones used in Fear Factor)

56. You love banh chung, banh gio, banh uoc, you name it, anything that starts with banh

57. If u liked a girl and she didn't like u, u asked her to be your god sister

58. Your parents always compare you to other kids

59. You’re an accident

60. Your parents don't know a thing about you

61. You have a shit load of bags in your lower kitchen cabinet (taken from grocery stores for home use such as garbage bags )

62. Your relatives in the states are filthy rich from nail stores

63. You have some uncles that's got fucked up names, usually involving numbers and weird fruits or some shit you've never heard of

64. Your parents told you they found you in the trash can

65. At some point of your life, you went to those pointless New Year fest things where you walked around and did nothing, and said hi to the same people over and over and it got awkward after the 90th time, then you left

66. Your parents are extremely superstitious, if you stand facing the wrong direction, they spin kick you back to the "right" direction

67. You can't date til you're 60

68. When you are feeling ill, your parents think you're on drugs

69. You cuss out anyone in Vietnamese that gets you pissed off

70. You know you’re Viet when you're always the first one to fight and start shit with anybody

71. Your parents think you're the worst kid

72. Your dad wears glasses and always has the good old' hair combed to the side look

73. You always have pounds of rice around the house

74. You use your dishwasher to store clean dishes

75. You, or someone u know has that immigrant mark on their left or right arm and if they do, it means they were born in Vietnam

76. You have a bucket in your bathtub

77. Your parents constantly barge in your room when you're on the computer asking why you aren't doing homework (even when u don't have any) and threaten to cut your internet

78. Your shoe shelf is outside your front door

79. You have "thit kho" for dinner at least once a week

80. You know you're Viet when your family uses newspapers as your place mat

81. People admire you and your country for being the only country that ever beats the AMERICAN, and the FRENCH in a modern WAR Oh and the Chinese too

82. Your parents hang those Viet calendars on every wall in your home that they collect from the Viet markets

83. Your mom leaves something in the freezer for about a year and wont throw it out because she thinks food last forever in the freezer

84. You know you’re Viet when there's a pile of Vietnamese news paper (thoi bao) lying in the corner of your house somewhere

85. Your dad or uncle host one of those drinking party every Friday or Saturday night and they all sit in a circle on the floor with piles of beer on the side and "tuyet canh" as the main dish

86. Your mom dad uncle, or any elder relative still goes raving

87. Your mom uses the garage as her second kitchen because she don't want to stink up the house, especially when she makes "mam ruoc"

88. Your mom records every episodes of Cai Luong and lends them to the rest of the family members and friends

89. Your mom saves all your Halloween candies to give out next Halloween

xend transmissionx

“You know you're Viet when...”