Song of the Day: Electric Light Orchestra - Don't Bring me Down
Man, today has just been a craptastic day in general. So many things are racing through my head and it's starting to grow on me. It's always good to think about things and analyze them, but when does it become too much and overplayed? To put my mind at ease, I decided to buy something online today. Everyone I know has had a pretty successful experience purchasing off the interweb, so why can't I? I decided the best option was to pick a well-known and established retail outlet with a purchasing portal. So after selecting the items I wanted, filling out several pages of personal information, I was denied access to an online purchase because I was not a resident of the United States. Seeing that this is highly illogical, I decided to call their customer care to clarify matters. So, after another few minutes working through the automated phone service, a service representative told me that if I didn't have a mailing and billing address in the US that I would not be able to shop online. Is it just me or does this just defeat the purpose of online purchasing? Online shopping is supposed to be one avenue or global business. Fuck, even Joe Schmoes can sell things to people across the world via E-bay, yet I can't buy a pair of shoes from a major retail outlet. I mean, why even dedicate efforts to e-commerce when it cannot service your customers from a neighbouring country? I would think Canada is prosperous enough where its population would have the purchasing power to attract e-business merchants to market here. FUCK YOU BANANA REPUBLIC for wasting my time. So instead of relieving stress, I'm worse off than I started.
The real reason why I'm so agitated is due to an uncertainty that has been resonating in my mind body and spirit. It's been eating at me for a long time now and has been wearing me down mentally and emotionally whereby I could make a fatal mistake jus to have this uncertainty go away. Recently, there has been an opportunity or chance of resolution where I can put this all behind me. To be honest, I'm scared/frustrated/angry that I cannot take the next step in ending the uncertainty. Parts of me think that I'm a chicken for not ending this uncertainty, but I really want to do it on my terms. There's a major level of sensitivity here where if I push too much, I could make the uncertainty even worse. Aiiyyya, the burdens of being an adult (whether I like it or not) ...